Ramadan, or the Muslim’s intermittent fasting, is the holiest month in the Islamic calendar. Muslims all over the world will abstain from eating AND drinking (yes, that means no water either) from dawn to sunset. You don’t have to fast if you are sick, pregnant, work a physically intensive job, or if you are menstruating. Islamically, there is no shame associated with menstruating, as God prescribes the time off for menstruators to rest due to the physical demands. Despite this exception, the deep-seated cultural stigma around menstruation leads Muslim menstruators to fake that their fasting to avoid any embarrassment.
I have experienced this first-hand. There was a point in my life when I would feel that pit in my stomach whenever I had to tell people I was bleeding during Ramadan. My face would heat up and I would whisper, “I can’t fast this week.” That was the code phrase for “my uterus is shedding.” Even as I write this piece, I remember the eternal shame and anguish I would feel when I had to admit it. This is coming from a person who wouldn’t even buy Always pads in bulk from Costco because I was so embarrassed to reveal to my father that I was a menstruator.
Before I regulated my cycle with the pill, I always calculated when I would be on my period to figure out if it would hit during Ramadan. This might be controversial to say, but I believe the best time to get your period is towards the end of the month. While the first week is usually the hardest, your body adjusts to the lack of food so your stomach shrinks. If you get your period in the beginning or the middle of Ramadan, your body would have to relearn to shrink the stomach and be okay with limited food again.
According to my pill pack, I'll be on my period during the last week of Ramadan~
If I was menstruating, I would wake up at 4 AM for the morning meal in order to avoid my family finding out that I was on my period. Because I never wanted my dad to ask me, “Why aren’t you fasting?”, I would sneakily eat in my room, away from his eyes. At school, sometimes I wouldn’t eat lunch even if I was menstruating to avoid the glares from other Muslims and the questions from innocent non-fasters who would ask, “you’re not fasting today?” Little did my friends know how awful that question made me feel. I was so scared to reveal to the world that I was on my period. While I wasn’t a shy kid, I was socialized to believe that you had to hide your period; that it was shameful and gross.
Now, 20 years later, I wonder where this stigma stemmed from. There were moments in my life where being on my period during Ramadan was not shameful. But why was it so often hard for me to be open about my body? Why was I so concerned about people seeing me eat? I remember whispering to a Muslim friend, “I’m not fasting” and she replied, “me neither.” It made me happy that I had someone in my life that felt a similar struggle. Why couldn’t I always be open with everyone like my friend and I were with each other that day?
Are you allowed to fast on your period? This is a controversial question. There are some schools of thought (made by men) that say even if you did fast, it wouldn’t spiritually count so you would have to make them up anyway. For the past few years, I have decided that even if it “doesn’t count,” I will still continue fasting even though I don’t have to. I realized that for me, fasting is more about self discipline. I have a difficult relationship to food and have found that Ramadan helps me reset my attitude towards food, especially sugar. But in the end, it is ultimately my decision. And that, is what really matters.
Resources relating to Menstruating during Ramadan:
Ramadan Prep for Women from the Qalam Institute: https://youtu.be/Zehz_xi0UEg?t=1567
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